ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
