OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
one might say we're banned from that church
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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