I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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