dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
