Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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