She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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