I want to make a zoo with you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
