oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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