My nipple is on Facebook.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
