She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
