id be glad to
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
