My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
