Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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