you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
