I wish I only lived at night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
