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he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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