i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
