My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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