Your tits are I can't wait for
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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