i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
