so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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