Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
its liver damage thursday
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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