I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
