a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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