Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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