your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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