After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
