I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
