There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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