What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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