why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
