Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
