my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize