when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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