Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
