i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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