I murdered the dance floor call the cops
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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