yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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