I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
