we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize