I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
