I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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