Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
