So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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