It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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