Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
