my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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