I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
