My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
