Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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