Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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