What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
