i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
