Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Can you bring me the toilet please
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
