so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
