Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
