STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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