you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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