I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
