Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
