thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Found the puke drawer
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
