She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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