Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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