Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
