I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
