Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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