I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
